PROTIP

joshdutcher:

(via molls)

Omegle: Unequivocal proof that John Gabriel’s Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory is true.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Susan?
You: Rick?
Stranger: YES!
You: Where have you been my whole life?
Stranger: I was gonna ask you the same thing
Stranger: Thank god for omegle
Stranger: I thought I’d never find you/
Stranger: Now we can live happy and breed happy
You: Thank god. I’ve found my soulmate. As long as you don’t mind my obsession with collecting vintage typewriters.
Stranger: Awesome obsession. I like the noise they make.
Stranger: Ch-Ching!
You: Oh, no no
You: I only like the broken ones that grind and catch fire.
Stranger: Oh I see.
You: See, the only thing I like more than typewriters is arson.
Stranger: Well in that case maybe we should rethink this. I like to collect petrol cans. I don’t think it’d work between us
Stranger: Wait. Arson!?
Stranger: I love Arson
Stranger: Maybe we could make this work
You: It’s such grand fun.
Stranger: Don’t you just love fire
You: Burn, baby, burn.
Stranger: Come on baby light my fire
You: I will.
You: Oh, I will.
Stranger: Oh shit, my pants are on fire.
Stranger: Help me help
Stranger: No, my shirt
Stranger: My face
Stranger: Arrrrrrrgh!
You: I’m sorry, it’s so beautiful.
Stranger: ….

Your conversational partner has disconnected.